Random thoughts on grief and joy...

Those of you who know me will recall that the last two years have been pretty rough.  Here's a recap:

April 19, 2009 Memaw passed away from lung cancer
November 29, 2009 Becky (the roomie's Mom) passed away after a long battle with kidney disease
January 14, 2010 Grammy passed away from lung cancer

In the midst of these three great losses there was also some other 'yucky stuff' going on that made life even less fun. 

As you can imagine at this time last year I felt like life pretty much sucked....and considering all that I had been through in the previous year, few people were going to disagree with me. 

About a month after Grammy's funeral a precious friend and I had lunch.  It must have been aparent to her how much I was hurting.  She said to me, "Carissa, I know that things are really hard right now but don't let it take away your joy."  I spent a lot of time thinking about this.  At the time of our conversation I wasn't ready to be joyful or rejoice about anything!  Three people I loved had died, several relationships in my life weren't where they should be, I didn't love my job...forget being joyful! 

Psalm 94:19 When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.

As time passed, I began to realize that my friend was right.  Although some really crummy things were happening in my life, I had reasons to rejoice.  My two grandmothers and my sweet friend Becky were in HEAVEN, my family was healthy, I had a good job and great friends. As the year progressed I was given even more reason to rejoice when I was blessed with two beautiful nephews. 

So, that brings me to today...the anniversary of the day that Grammy died.  I won't lie and say that I wasn't a little sad today but I was also able to rejoice!  Instead of living in a cancer ridden body here on this earth my Gram is in Heaven.  I have so much to rejoice about knowing that I will someday see my loved ones again. 

On this day, the last of the "one year anniversaries", I'll leave you with a song that Grammy and I sang many, many times:

When you're feeling down

Feeling kinda bluesy,

Just go down to Grammy's house

And jump in her jacuzzi!